Really

I just realized that the real reason i started this blog was that i was utterly convinced that i was interesting, that i had something worth saying, that i was original, philosophic of some other nonesence. In all honesty i am dull boring and pathetic. I have no genuinely original thouhts, everyday i think of "plots" to my life trying to cheer me up, "Ooh, what if i had superpowers.... it would go like THIS____" but i just steal from others already presented ideas and simply twist them so i'm the center of attention in my head because thats the only place i am. I'm pathetic for the fact that i can't make up my damn mind, i honestly don't know if i'm depressed, or just on some level want to seem depressed so tht people will be there for me, HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT. I tell eveyone that i don't think much of myslef, but i must because i'm convinced that i should be having a better life. And i say i want change, i'm prbly afraid of it. I say i want a girlfriend, that i'd be better than all the jackasses out there, i'm probly just like them. And for a week now i've imagined punching in a guy's face "one of my illusions of grandeur, because i'm sure that i can't fight" simply because he has an amazing girlfriend. Now, in all fairness she said that she liked me, but really, if i'm so pathetic that that's all it takes for me to dive in head first, i should have been shot or heartbroken a dozen times by now.

I guess what i'm trying to say is... why am i so fucked up?

Confusion

I think life might be the most iteresting when it's absolutely confusing. :)

Why?

Why does life has to be this way??? The hard choice, and what i have to assume is the right choice, apparently "as cleached as it is" are the same thing. Why can't life ever make some damn sense??

??

I just don't know

Where??

I know that it's just been a few days, that's not what i'm talking about that. Where did YOU go?

Lauren

Thank You, for being so sweet, amazing, understanding, patient, and just awesome. You get me, I can just tell, and that's something rare. I'm really glad that I met you Lauren.

Movies

Saw Inception, and it really got me thinking. Not that I need to jump off a bridge to wake up from a dream or anything crazy like that. Just, the depth of a movie like that. The reason it was so amazing, was because it was so "different" to us, so strange of a veiw on things. What kind of person is it that came up with something like that? What are his thoughts like? Does he think bizzare stuff like that radomly, or was he as surprised to come up with it, as we were to see it?

Darkness And Light.

From Day to Night


In the middle of it all

The terror and the fright

In the hours of darkness

It’s a gruesome a sight

Sometimes all there is left

Is to hold out for twilight

And the day it brings

From darkness to light

In day’s time

The sun Is so bright

Begging for our movement

As if it wasn’t our right

And the land grows and

Sings with all her might

But every day is only hours away

From darkness’s bite

Grudgingly it will go on

From day to night

The time when evil

Does it’s wicked fight

And the day after

You’ll see it’s chalk bordered site

The only Likeness with day

Is the moon, colored white

And that they follow each other

From Day to night.

Time

Time




Time is a virtue

Which we each hold

Around us all

The Young and old

Memories may always

Make it seem to fold

Until the end

And the deep dark cold

That is why

Before you die

Do something truly bold.



Time continues

In the exact same way

Minutes and seconds

From day to day

Listen to all

That friends have to say

Every year

From June to May

To all of you

This message true

Happy of sad for life say "Yay"



Time is eternity

With us forever

An invisible bond

To strong to sever

It connects all things

Like a symbolic tether

Impossible to escape

Even for the clever

Do for heavens sake

Let me die before I wake

And go to a place as soft as a feather



Time is changing

Over the years

From wood and stone

To metal and gears

The past is gone

The future we fear

But i live life

With a sense of good cheer

Live life like a show

And always know

It's not you who decides when the end is near.